Feeling Rejected? Common Dating Advice that Describes Your Writing Career


Your latest guest post pitch was rejected. The agent you met at that writing seminar, rejected you manuscript. The local editor for that one magazine, about dogs with spots rejected your well-crafted article about dalmatians.

So, now what?

You give up?

Or you can check out the nearest dating blog and start getting ideas on how to move on…

I lost you. Just hold on, because this isn’t your typical blog post about writer rejection. I’m serious about using common dating tips towards you writing career. The context of each tip is useful whether you’re feeling rejected after a million failed blind dates or writing that future bestsell…, that won’t sell.

When you’re feeling rejected just think about this:

Tip 1: It’s Not You, It’s Me (Until It Is You):

Dating experts say that when someone breaks up with you, out of the blue, and uses that ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ phrase, they really mean it was you.

So, when it comes to writing, you might’ve caused your own rejection, unintentionally. You can’t be mad at the editor. Or argue with them. Just accept the rejection.

There could be a number of reasons why you were rejected:

  • Your work didn’t fit their vision.
  • Your work was too wholesome.
  • The editor was ticked off that taco Tuesday was cancelled.
  • And so on…

Does that mean you should give up? Throw away your laptop, run to the nearest pillow, and sob? (Possibly, crying is good for the soul.) Or, you can just move on to the next dating tip.

Tip 2: Don’t Change Yourself For Anyone Else:

Just like a single lady or lad that found out she/he wasn’t looking for a one night stand but for true monogamy, you just have to find someone that fits you on a deeper emotional level. 

If you write about kickboxing, you probably shouldn’t pitch to a dating/sex ed site for your post.  Try looking for websites that fit your niche. It sounds like common sense, (and it is). But, it’s easy to make the mistake of assuming that just because the site might have an article: How I Met My Lover in the Boxing Ring, doesn’t mean your blog post will fit.

If you aren’t sure what an editor is looking for, ask them, nicely. Some editors might be willing to give you list of examples of popular stories they’re willing to accept.

Tip 3: You’re Perfect Just the Way You Are:

How many relationships fail or how many people lose themselves because they thought perfection is what their SO was looking for. When actually, all you needed to be was yourself, and patient.

Similar to Tip 2, you don’t have to conform your message or change your standards to fit someone’s idea blog post. But, you can always improve and work on your writing to get it up to your reader’s standards.

Have a someone to proofread your post to check for errors and to make sure you conveyed your message the way you see fit. However, don’t shoot for perfection. Or, you’ll never post, write, or create your piece. Don’t beat yourself up, when it’s not perfectly perfect.  Your mistakes are what make you human. (Plus you can always edit your post, or create a new edition of your book).

Tip 4: Don’t Say You’ll Never Love Again:

You know it’s a lie. Don’t even. And, if it’s true…, sad.

You’re not going to love writing every day. Sometimes, you’ll loathe it. Especially when you’re experiencing writer’s block, doubts, rejections, or a lack of comments for a superb blog post. You may question your love for writing. But, that doesn’t mean, you’re not devoted. Sometimes, it’s good to reflect on why you write. Take a break, breaks are healthy. Just don’t give up on your love.

Tip 5: Give It a Try You’ll Never Know What Sparks May Fly:

Don’t do the same thing (or type of guy) over and over. Try new things, it keeps the spark alive. 

I so wasn’t trying to rhyme there, but it’s true. Maybe you write sci-fi, and you want to give new adult romance writing a try. It’s a huge leap, especially if you don’t dabble in romance with your dystopian novels about robot overlords. And, you may find out you love that thing you wanted to avoid.

Tip 6: Communication is key

I never understood the show Catfish. How do you date someone online, without talking to them over the phone? Freaking Skype them or something…, anyway, I digress. Not a tip, just a rant. You wouldn’t go on a blind date without talking to the person first over the phone.

Treat your readers the same way with or without rejection; communicate with them. If they like your work, and took the initiative to message you, do something special. Email them, maybe invite them to an exclusive fan group. Or if you live nearby and trust the person, grab coffee with your uber-favorite-fan. But, if you’re an introvert, just stick to liking, commenting, and maybe following in return. Oh and share their work on social too, and they’ll return the favor (maybe)!

Tip 7: Keep Up Your Appearance:

If someone loves you with or without makeup, with or without a beard, and so on. Love them back harder. But, don’t purposely let yourself go, just because you feel too comfortable.

Your readers want to read quality. They want to be inspired by the work you produce. Whether it’s an e-book or a vlog. Put quality in everything. If your site is hard to use, update the theme. If your email list is small, but you don’t bother to send your tiny list of subscribers anything, how do you expect to grow? Most of the time your site grows through word of mouth, not marketing schemes. Keep them wanting more, (and floss once in awhile ;D ).

Tip 8: Look For Prospects Everywhere (Within Reason):

The goal is quality not quantity. Don’t make a profile for every dating site under the sun. You may not want to date a farmer or a fish. Just a few, or two.

Your goal is to find quality people who will love to read your stuff and stick around for more good reads. Don’t feel pressured into joining every social media site or clog your subscribers inboxes with hourly updates (unless you’re in the middle of a time-crunch campagne). Do be social. Just don’t forget that you and your home base comes first.

Tip 9: Suitors Can Sniff Desperation:

Try not to come off as needy, overly-everything, and so on

A spammer is so not sexy.

Just go with the flow. Schedule when to post, when to communicate with readers and followers, and when to follow other blogs. If you hate schedules, just try to keep balance. Try something as simple as don’t comment on more blogs than you have posts written, at least when starting out. You want to spend your time, wisely. And, you don’t want to waste your reader’s time either with half-hearted comments.

More Tips Please:

These tips are limited on purpose. In fact, I want to know your tips and tricks to writing and or dealing with rejection.

Comment below and let me know.

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