I Meant to Say “No”, but It Sounded like “Yes”

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I have this disgusting habit of saying, YES! In all of it’s annoying formats…

Sure. Absolutely. No Problem. Okie Dokie.

As I write this I cringe, because someone I know will read this one day and say “Yup, she’s done that before.”

Why can’t I just say no? Does anyone else in the world have this problem?

I’m sure they do, otherwise it wouldn’t be on this blog.

The word yes, is just easy. There’s no explanations. It just means what it means. And, words hold power, or so I’m told.

When, you say yes, before actually thinking about what you’re “yessing” to, you end up chipping a piece of yourself away.

Some common reasons why we say yes is because of guilt, a sense of obligation, to please someone, to use the person in the future, and so on. The word yes, when it’s not used for its primary purpose then becomes this throw away word. It loses its meaning after a while, like saying “pudding” over and over.

If someone comes up to you, and expects you to say yes.

Just pause.

Even if it’s an urgent question. Think about where this reply will take you.

If you want to say yes and you feel like it’ll be to your advantage and help someone else. Go for it.

But, if you feel doubt, let them know you’ll think about it. Don’t just do that to stretch time. But, think about the scenario, play it out in your mind.

I have a workplace example:

A co-worker needs to leave early. You were swamped. But, you’re close to completing the day. This co-worker did you a solid earlier today. They helped you out of some big trouble. Will you say yes, when they ask you to cover them?

Depends, is this a habit for your co-worker? What’s your company policy about doing other employee’s work? Is this work you can accomplish without ruining your own projects?

See, you needed to stop and think about it. If you said, yes. You’d cause issues that would’ve been avoided if you stopped to think.

Another area where saying yes becomes a problem is when it hurts you in the end.

Yes, you’ll stay after work and miss the gym.

Yes, you’ll come in early and let the kids take the bus.

Yes, you’ll tidy up after the big meeting.

Yes, yes, yes.

If you don’t mean it. Don’t say it.

I deal with this problem every day. I need to learn how to say no. I need to start using that word more. Yes is so 2016 anyway.

 

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