My younger brother is the most confident person I know. And, not only is he confident, he stands up for himself.
But, recently, a friend of his got married, and deleted him from Snapchat. To say that my brother was hurt is an understatement.
First, this all might seem petty, maybe his wife doesn’t want her husband to be friends with my brother or maybe he did it by accident. The fact is my brother had to come to terms with the fact that haters are gonna hate, but you can’t let them hurt you.
When people come into your life, you want them to be a support system, a friend, someone you can let your hair down with. Those people bring out the good in you and teach you how to be a better person.
Then, you get the people who are haters. Your dream, your personality, your decisions, may all seem stupid and hate-worthy in their eyes. Does that mean your life needs to stop in order to cure their hatred?
When was the last time you experienced a hater. Maybe it was a friend who deleted you from social media as was the case with my brother. Or maybe, it was some other form or hatred, either verbal or physical? How did you react? Did you change some part of you? Did you think on the situation or the person’s hateful comments until you became visibly heated up?
Here’s an anecdote for the next time you feel like your hater got the best of you:
A healthy young man tripped on the sidewalk, he landed on his knees. The pain was excruciating and he rubbed at his knee. A woman walked up to him and held out her hand.
“Let me help you up.” She said.
He shook his head, “My knee hurts too much, I can’t get up!”
She shakes her head in pity and keeps on going. Again, the young man is rubbing his knee, grumbling under his breath. Another person walks past, and again asks to help him up, and he mutters the same thing. He’s too hurt to get up. He’s just going to stay on the ground.
Eventually the pain subsides, the ground grows cold as the season’s change. People walk around the man continuing their life. And, they stop asking him if he needs help.
The man starts to grow bitter at the people walking around, ignoring him. He scowls and throws up his arms. Finally, the woman returns after some time and says,
“Why are you still on the ground? Everyone else has moved on, why can’t you?”
The only person affected by a hater, is you. If you allow someone elses hate to keep you down, keep you hidden, and keep you negative. Eventually, you’re going to be unable to move on.
No, haters don’t have a right to treat you bad and disrespect you. Haters also don’t have the power to make you bitter, ruin your happiness, or squelch your zest to live (unless you let them).
A close friend of mine told me that she loves a comic strip about two stick figures. One stick figure was holding up a jar with the word Happy written on it. Another stick figure looked at it and asked where he got the jar from. The stick figure with the jar said that he made it himself.
Haters are hateful because something in their life makes them this way towards others, whether it’s hubris, greed, and/or fear. However, just like the stick figure, you don’t have to wait for happiness to come, sometimes you have to actively make yourself happy.
- Turn off the haters
- Do not read or feed their propaganda
- Keep finding ways to create your own jar of happiness
- Focus on how to better yourself
You don’t need to give haters power. They’re pretty weak when you strip them down. Why waste your life allowing someone else to ruin your joy?
When did drinking poison ever get your enemy sick? That’s what haters do. They drink negativity, hurtful words, and terrible emotions, and hope you get sick from it.
If you allow haters to control your life. Then, it’s just like you are absorbing their poison through osmosis.
Be above the negativity and the hate. Find good to replace the bad.
Besides, the only way to cure hate is to show love, gratitude, and humility.