I’m not going to lie or hide this fact. I did attend two years of community college, while attending high school. During that time, I learned that I’d rather write novels, blog, watch anime, and work a day job, then pursue further college.
But, I started day dreaming about going back to college. The more I thought about living on campus and running to classes for exams. The more I realized, I got wrapped in the nostalgia and idea of going back. Not the reality.
Attending college is like working a full-time day job that you’re ambivalent about. You show up, but there’s no heart or true effort behind it. Classes are taken because you need the credits, not because you care about what you’re learning.
A good example of classes that leads nowhere was my chemistry lab class. I was so stoked about taking a college chemistry class, in the past. I made straight A’s and a B in chemistry back in tenth grade. So, I imagined taking lab would be my real-world application of what we learned in the textbooks.
Wrong, wrong, wrong!
First of all, I barely passed lab. I think it was the lack of passion from my instructors.
Secondly, I discovered I’m really bad at chemistry. I measured things wrong, and I usually ended up crying after class because my experiments failed (I’m a sensitive learner).
Thirdly, it wasn’t my true passion.
I took chemistry lab, so that I could get enough credits to transfer to university, and become a pharmacist.
But, I didn’t want to be a pharmacist. I just wanted to make enough money as a single adult female, so that I can follow my true calling as a writer.
Thinking about going back to school now makes my stomach churn. My hands tremble and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. It’s not that I wouldn’t excel, it’s just that it isn’t for me.
Don’t get me wrong though.
I love, love, love learning and educating myself.
I read Popular Science, watch the Discovery and Sci Channels. I get psyched over advances in technology that might get us closer to finding life anywhere in the universe (a girl can dream right?).
But, I don’t love the way I learned chemistry, in a classroom, through lectures, boring videos with examples that didn’t help much, and labs that left me dejected.
So, would I go back to school, even if money wasn’t an option?
No, because I would use the funds that could go towards tuition to help me self-publish my first book.
College is my past. I’m looking to the future.
Because, that’s what scientists and passion-seekers do.