You Probably Didn’t Notice But I Quit Writing… Again.
Well, the short answer is that I allowed someone close to me to read my work, and tell me about a week later that they didn’t like my blog post, that my writing was self-deprecating, and that I should do something else like create a YouTube video or become famous like that one chick from the Dr. Phil Show.
Am I really that sensitive to allow another person’s words to cut me? I’ve been blogging since December and now I give up? Pathetic, right?
Think about it. Writing is something that happens without a cheer squad and once the work is done, it’s like presenting a newborn to the world.
If you remember, Princess Kate presented her children to the World in the UK and did her closest family members ever say, “Oye, maybe you should keep a blanket over the kid’s face?”
No sensible person in their right mind would disrespect a child in front of its mother (or her country). So, why should you disrespect someone’s work to their face?
Granted, art, writing, and the like are subjective, everyone comes to their own conclusions and have a right to their opinion, that’s why we have forums, comment sections, and social media accounts. But, if I get a comment from “Bob” who lives in Cambodia about how my writing “sux” then I’m going to brush it off.
It cuts deeper when a close relative, friend, or partner disrespect you to your face.
So, instead of quitting how should I have handled the disrespect towards my child…, er writing?
Easier said than done since writers are a sensitive group made up of introverts who just want to be read. It’s easy to ignore a commenter on the internet, it’s harder to avoid them when they live in your house.
Instead of letting the words of a negative person cut into the core of your being and rock you from the foundation of your career or passion. Just ignore them. Silence is usually the best answer to most taunts.
CALL THEM OUT:
I usually ignore comments about my writing, especially when it comes to relatives. But, the fact that someone’s trying to tell me how to do my work, ticks me off than actually telling me it didn’t move them.
Telling someone how to do their job is fighting words, especially when they didn’t ask for the commentary. In this case, you need to call them out. Allow them to explain themselves. Maybe, you don’t see their side of things. They are an outsider, and if they’re a reader of your writing, then their opinion holds at least a sliver of weight. But, if they’re reasoning is as bogus as the comment they made against you, then, you need to do the next thing.
The easiest question to ask: Did you read more than one article?
Now, I believe you should read at least a handful of blog articles before determining if someone you’re reading is worth your time. I have under 40 blog articles. I asked my relative if they read at least two articles before coming to the negative conclusion that crushed my soul and pushed me to quit.
A stupid look. Followed by a quiet, no, was their answer.
GROW THICKER SKIN:
Everything related to writing, I take seriously. And, in the future, I want to make this a lifestyle and not just a side-gig. So, thick skin isn’t just a requirement, it’s a necessity.
Family, friends, and strangers all have opinions and if your writing doesn’t resonate with them, it was never meant for them. At the same time growing a thick skin or a thicker skin will allow you to ignore the negativity, even if it came from a good place (allegedly).
I stopped writing and I’m making myself sit back down and get back on track. It’s hard. But it’s like working out again, it hurts at first, definitely feels awkward, but once you get back on board; it’s like breathing.
Right now, writing hurts, because I’m still annoyed, frustrated, and sad.
Writing is also my therapy because it allows me to spill out my guts.
Have you ever had someone tear down something that meant so much to you? How did you react, and do you have any tips for handling situations like that? Let me know in the comments.
Don’t forget, I did write my first e-book ever and you deserve a free copy for reading my rant about something that I’m sure affects more than a couple of writers at least once or twice in their career.