Ways to Fix Your Love Hate Relationship with Your Day Job


Everyone with a day have things that they may enjoy and something they loathe. Whether you’ve just entered the work force fresh out of school or you’re just grinding away at your current place while building a side gig then keep reading.

If Sunday nights leads to night sweats and/or nightmares about a jamming printer, congratulations you’re employed and the honeymoon’s over.

Now, how do you fix the knots that form in the pit of your gut, when your alarm goes off first thing Monday morning?


Problem: The same co-worker bullies, stalks, or harasses you at work. They’re borderline annoying, but it’s not a big enough issue to tell your boss about.

Here’s a Fix: Find out everything you can about the other person and I mean everything. Do they have a drinking problem? Are they experiencing some sort of mental health episode? I’m asking you to find out not because you need to be nosey or use it as ammo against them. But you need to find out what makes them tick so that you can be proactive instead of reactive towards their moods.

Working with execs, managers, and fellow co-workers is one giant mind game. Some know it as the chain of command or office politics. I treat each co-worker separately based off of what I know about them, and I do my best to be firm and direct (when it’s time to be).  When you find out what makes the other person tick, then you know how to behave around them, though protecting your sanity (hopefully).

Problem: You’ve been dealing with an irate and demanding customer. They hold one of the largest accounts at your firm, so you have to kiss their rump, right?

Here’s a Fix: Sit down with your boss. Explain the situation. If the boss has your back, she’ll (assuming she’s female) will give you some tips and possibly back you up when the irate customer reaches out to her.

Let’s say your boss isn’t helpful. Then, tread lightly with the customer, use common sense, keep conflicts at a minimal and try not to make your voice give away your annoyance. If emailing them is a possibility, do so. But, remember to re-read your email to avoid curtness. It’s best not to poke the bear, especially if your superiors plan to keep this client for a long time.

I’ve discovered that most of the time, irate customers are angry because of hurt or some other feelings and you end up being the punching bag. Guess what? They’re probably afraid. Use your reasonableness to crush their bad moods and always use a calm voice when the conversation gets terse. If all else fails, forward the complainer to someone with a higher pay grade than you.

Problem: You don’t want to wake up for work in the morning. And by 5PM you’re the first one speeding out of the parking lot. Your work hours are spent loathing it and your work hours are spent wishing you were home.

Here’s a Fix: This could be one of two things:

First: No one’s forcing you to go, that’s enslavement (technically, illegal).

Second: You take your work home with you and therefore loathe the hours before the work day begins.

What I’d recommend is start a morning routine for example:

  • Before work: Listen to an upbeat audiobook like one by Jeff Goins or some other self-help guru of your choice.
  • At the office: Fix a cup of something warm (coffee or tea). And, listen to your favorite songs (if you’re allowed to).
  • At the end of the work day: Leave your desk tidy for the morning, this will trick your brain into turning off work mode.

Some Pro Tips: Don’t keep your work email on your cell unless it’s required. Otherwise keep your phone off.

Problem: All the Solutions above don’t work or they are useless for your situation. You still hate your job.

Fix: Here are three simple fixes – Quit, change your attitude, talk to HR.

Quitting may be the only way to get out of a bad situation that makes no sense staying in. Animals gnaw their own limbs off to escape a trap. If you hate a job enough create a well written resignation letter, but at least have a new gig lined up before quitting.

Change your attitude. This may take weeks or months. You may be a people-pleaser by nature. What you should do is focus on yourself. No one, and I mean no one on the phone or via email cares about your feelings when they have a problem. So, take extra care of yourself after hours, and even during work hours.

Buy a fidget spinner. Get a bunch of stuffed animals and line your cubicles up with them. Stick pictures of family on the walls. And, if you don’t have any of those things; clip funny articles or comics from the newspaper or online and use those as your stress relief and motivation.

Finally, talk to HR because they’re paid to care about you. Make sure your HR is approachable, most should be. And, just tell them what professional issues you’re having and how should you fix it in the meantime. Some HR’s will recommend you contact your Employment Action Program or EAP and you can get some good advice and almost free service such as mental health assistance.

Just remember this: Even if none of these tips help no one likes their day job ALL THE TIME. But, it’s just that a job. It doesn’t need to bleed into the rest of your life.

Had a bad day? Don’t let it ruin your tomorrow.

It’s easier said than done. But, if you’re willing to change your hatred for productivity you may be able to find a way to fix your day job in the areas you can control.

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